What Do I Have to Offer

I’ve sat here staring at the blinking curser for some time trying to figure out some witty, insightful way of telling you the simple plain truth that all I have to offer you as you read through these musings, is a piece of me.

One of Rascal Flatts recent songs, entitled
Every Day from the album Still Feels Good, has, in part, the following lyrics:

 Listen to the song

I come around all broken down and crowded
out and you’re a comfort
Some times the place I go is so deep and dark and desperate I don’t know
I don’t know
How every day, every day, everyday you save my life
Sometimes I swear I don’t know if I’m comin or goin
but you always say somethin without even knowin
that I’m hanging on your words with all of my might
and it’s alright, yeah I’m alright
For one more night.
Every day, Every day, You save me, you save me.

As you follow these pages it will become very clear that these words are my hearts song because I was the one who had no hope.

I was the one who had nothing to hold onto.
I was the one broken, battered and bruised laying on an ice cold floor with nothing to hold onto, nothing to connect to, nothing worth living for. I was staring into the black abyss of eternity and I saw….nothing… and it appealed to me.

Sadness, hopelessness, emptiness, despair and failure coursed through the channels of my soul and it’s chill made the darkness appeal all the more. Even worse, I had no one to point a finger at and say, “it’s their fault.” I could blame no one but myself and my own fingers betrayed my arrogance, and cursed me.

Some day I’ll share with you the dream of the abyss so real and vivid I couldn’t do it justice. But it changed me. Something changed within me at that moment and It was another link in a series of events that formed a chain which others grabbed hold of and pulled me out of that pit of despair.

You see, while there is darkness, and we’ve seen it, there is also light. Truth. Hope. There was someone in my life that reached into the blackness, took my hand and led me, no, drug me out. At times it would have been easier to stay. But we’ll explore that some other time together.

I really don’t know what you’re going through, what brought you here, but something did. I hope that maybe through the telling of my stories, giving you a piece of me, you will find that the idea of hope can give birth to faith, faith to belief and belief to reality.

Hopelessness is painful, no?

Well I want you to know that you’re safe here. I found safety in the precious trust of someone and I want to share that gift with you.
You matter. You might or might not deserve what you’re going through.

That’s not for me to decide. I’ll not judge anything you’ve done nor experienced at the hands of another. Sometimes it’s just circumstances that have overwhelmed you. It’s not OK. It hurts. All I have to offer are my words, maybe some comfort, a willingness to listen, and a gift, once given to me, that I pass on to you.

There is a place so deep and dark and desperate and you may not know if you’re comin or goin’. But maybe here you’ll find a little hope for one more night. Just one more night.

If you like this post please buy me a cup of coffee

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